I've never been able to truly express my feelings

Its hard enough building up the courage to say what i feel

because i don't want to screw a friendship up

its like a giant burden on my shoulders

but when i have the courage

its already to late or there's no hope

and the burden grows

but now its heavier and grows everyday

thoughts of what could've been

and doubting myself for not saying how i feel

why even bother even trying

I'm just so callous that I'm starting not to care at all

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Pitch Black night
cold rain beats down on my face
walking down the street alone
Don’t know where I am
I could care less
just need to be alone
to think about things

I had these feelings
for all my life
I can’t explain them
I just try to understand them
but when I do
more questions arise

why do I like to be alone?
Why do push all my feelings aside?
Why am I always in a rut?
The questions flood my mind
before I can even answer one
fifty more come flooding forward

I don’t know what I should do
for now I will answer the questions
that I can answer
and search for the other answers.